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Imposter Syndrome in Motherhood
When you feel like a fraud with your own child.
I carried my daughter inside of my womb for 9 months. I went through what many other mothers experienced. Labor and delivery. The whole thing.
Yet, when she was laid in my arms, she was crying. I couldn’t soothe her. I had a difficult time feeding her. I felt lost. Alone. I felt like an imposter.
Imposter Syndrome
Defined by verywellmind.com
To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony — you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud — like you don’t belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.
Imposter syndrome is a very real instance of concern about your status in society. Typically, this syndrome is linked to recently graduated college students and their crossing over into the “real world.”
They’ve been excepted into an official job within their degree field and are now surrounded by people much more experienced and confident.
Motherhood
Let me open a window into motherhood and talk to you about what it’s like. The good and the bad.
Let’s start with the good before it sounds like I’m complaining.
Beauty of motherhood
My daughter is my best friend and my daily motivator. She gets me out into the world with trips to the park, days at the beach, and visits to the pool. When I’m in a cloud of depression, I glance her way — a beam of joyful light — and pick her up.
“I love you,” she says to me as she rests her head on my chest. She listens to me read books with her ear close to my heart.
These are moments I repeat in my head and hope never to forget. She loves me unconditionally, as I love her the same.
The ugly side
Eyes looking from the outside, making suggestions, and giving advice I never asked for. These situations make me shake and sting with insecurities. Am I doing this wrong, then?
